The people at the NYC Midnight Competition like keeping me on my toes. My results are so utterly unpredictable as to suggest a degree of randomness. The latest example of this came in the ‘rhyming story’ competition in which my round one entry (here) managed 3rd place in my heat and propelled me into the penultimate round.
Confidence is not running high for a repeat result. Nevertheless, I include the second round entry (500 words/ romantic comedy/ caffeine/awkward) below.
Depending on your level of boredom you may like to read it.
This Girl and This Guy
A nervously anticipated blind-date goes badly wrong.
Plunging neckline. Party dress.
This girl is planning to impress
Painted toenails. Coiffured hair
Hints of silky underwear
So exciting, she can’t wait
And though it’s not her first blind-date
Who knows? If this guy’s not ‘the one’
At the least he might be lots of fun
Jumbled mental preparation
Mind is racing. Head’s a mess
This guy is feeling full-on stress
Caffeine. Caffeine. Concentrate
And then some gin. To compensate
A skinful. For the caffeine fix
In throbbing veins. A toxic mix
This girl is sitting at the bar
Eight-fifteen, he can’t be far
Delayed, perhaps, in passing showers
Delayed, perhaps, whilst buying flowers?
I wonder, will he bring a rose?
And whilst I’ve had a few of those
This girl can never have enough
Of pretty things. And other stuff
One more coffee. Can’t be late
I need to punch above my weight
Feeling neither up nor down
Nor in good shape to hit the town
Semi-conscious leaving home
No thought to brush the teeth, or comb
the hair. Or even press a shirt
I wonder if this girl will flirt?
Through the door, this guy injected
Perhaps not quite what she’d expected
Coming down the stairs he’s tripped
Oh my God! This guy is ripped!
Crazy hair, dishevelled dress
This guy is in a frightful mess
Eyes like saucers, legs unstable
This guy is heading for my table
Hello. A drink? A glass of wine?
No thanks. A water will be fine
Is that a joke? Just playful banter?
He’s reaching for the wine decanter
And whoops! Before he’s poured a sip
This guy has had a minor slip
Don’t be alarmed. There’s no distress
A tiny drop upon your dress
A tiny drop??? A major topple!
Overturned a half a bottle!
Soaked in wine from head to toe
How much worse could this thing go?
This guy’s become too much to handle
Now, what’s he doing with that candle?
Some bizarre attempt to please?
Beneath the table, on his knees?
Madam, let me shine a light
Upon your gown, which once was white
Yet still looks fine. Let me admire
And whoops! I’ve set the thing on fire
That’s quite a blaze, oh, deary me!
Alas, no time for modesty
Just whip it off. There’s no one staring
Well, no-one yet. And no point caring
What is this??? I’m almost nude
Before we’ve even ordered food.
And now there’s offers of first aid
And someone’s called the fire brigade
Run for it! Evacuate!
Save yourselves, ‘fore it’s too late!
So out the door the panic flows
With all but one still wearing clothes
A trifle awkward? What a sight!
At least it all turned out all right!
No-one killed. And no arrests
My girl! You’ve got fantastic breasts!
And though we started off unsteady
I feel I know you well already
Your place or mine? I’ll call a car
How do you like this guy, so far?
7 thoughts on “Another Crack at the NYC Competition”
Ha ha ha, funny! I’m pretty sure this is a true story somewhere. Well done.
Yes. This particular story borrowed from ‘Brutus Richmond Romantic Disasters – A very personal anthology. Volume 2.’
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Yikes! I say
Though it was funny
You’ll sway the judges
I’d bet money
And this is why I’m not a writer… just a journaler, and not even that, currently.
With blurs and smudges
Forget the judges
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you certainly filled the comedy/awkward criteria … she’s been fairly warned I’d run as far as possible … another winner pops.
Staying in Raymond Terrace late Feb but guessing you’re still unavailable?
Unavailable?? What does that mean?
I’m actually a Perth resident at the moment.
But yeah, if I’m around Raymond Terrace late Feb I’ll buy you a coffee (or you’ll buy me one).
Perth, you can’t stay put for a moment … I’ll only be passing through one night each way as I venture south to inject a bit of funds into the most recent flood area!