Free Pie

I decided to open up WordPress this morning and respond to the first challenge that I saw, and Charli Mills is, thus, the dubious recipient of my short-term attention span. Her challenge …. to write a 99 word story about free pie.

I would not normally consider writing about pie. I don’t even like pie. But that is the nature of a challenge, I suppose. And, at least, I didn’t have to actually eat one. And it’s not really a story.

But it is 99 words.


This body, clearly not ideal

Is purely circumstantial

Decisions on my every meal

Entirely financial

Caviar, imported wine?

A lovely suggestion ….

restaurants where I’d like to dine

Remain out of the question

Fast-food options, far and wide

Upset my self-impression

The lack of taste, a loss of pride

Leading to depression

So hungry for both for love and food

And lacking satisfaction

A desire to enhance my mood

Will put me into action

I’ll find a lady, short and stout

With a patisserie

I’ll woo her, and I’ll take her out

Then I’ll get my pies for free






5 thoughts on “Free Pie

  1. Oh my gosh, I don’t like pie either! If I hear one more person ask, “How can you not like pie? It’s pie!” I’ll die. I’m all like, um, can I just get some cake?

    Great poem! It made me laugh! 😀


    1. Here in Oz the meat pie with tomato sauce forms a significant part of the staple diet, particularly whilst watching football on a Saturday afternoon simultaneously clutching a beer. An Australian man would consider it a slight upon his masculinity to be seen eating a strawberry or apple pie and I imagine one would be evicted from reputable football venues for attempting to do so.

      Liked by 1 person

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