I was, as is habitual for me, discussing poetry with a friend recently, particularly in regard to bad poetry, of which there is an abundance (some even worse than mine). Being Easter, the conversation took a little diversion towards Christianity, and I was reminded of the song ‘Jesus is just Alright’, made famous by, amongst others, The Doobie Brothers.
The songs was written in the mid-sixties when being described as ‘just alright’ was quite a positive accolade rather than a more modern interpretation which might suggest being ‘barely OK’.
I can summarise the lyrics fairly simply. Essentially it goes like this ….
Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright. Jesus is just alright with me. Jesus is just alright. Oh, yeah.
These words should be repeated over and over again with increasing enthusiasm, particularly when it gets to the ‘oh, yeah’ part.
Whilst I don’t doubt the pious honestly of the author (Arthur Ried Reynolds, for the record) I do question the imaginative effort that went into the writing of it. Most of all I have trouble finding it to be a convincing and well thought out argument in favour of devoting one’s life to the worship of a questionably credible ancient mythical icon. But I may have missed the subtleties.
In homage to this enduring masterpiece I offer my own, hastily cobbled together, religious piece. Should this be my last ever post (God forbid!) then you will know that I have been struck down by lightning for my blasphemies on Easter Monday.
Hades he was hot.
He was King of all the Dead
But he had no sense of humour
Is the rumour I have read
Athena she was smart
But quite a tart at night in bed
Though not as bad as Venus
Who loved a penis, it’s been said
And Aphrodite, God almighty!
She was a goer, that’s for sure
Luring lusty sailors
From the safety of the shore
Apollo used to follow her
To watch how she’d behave
Whilst Poseidon, he was hidin’
In his underwater cave
Thor was such a bore
But God! That god could drink!
He’d fall asleep and then he’d snore
So loud you couldn’t think
Jehovah he was quite a dude
Don’t use his name in vain
To do so is just fucking rude
What that means I can’t explain
Jesus was his only son
They strung him up in underwear
Crucifixion. That was not much fun
But he’s alright. Oh, yeah!