I will never achieve solidarity when it comes to questions regarding ‘the worst television ever’ – and there is certainly some dreadful stuff out there. But I’d like to put a vote in for ‘The Love Boat’. Most of you are too young to have seen it, perhaps, or too proud to admit it, but I did spend a few rainy Sunday afternoons on the couch with my sister – and the experience has scarred me for life.

Chelsea’s Terrible Poetry prompt this week relates to the Covid 19 situation, and whilst I do not wish to make light of the subject I could not help but be reminded of this truly nauseating TV show.

Forgive me.

***

Love. Exciting and new

Come aboard. We’re infecting you.

Love. Let’s all get in close.

It’s an onboard romance. Can I give you a dose?

The love boat, with passengers old and vague

The love boat. Soon we’ll be spreading another plague

Set a course for the hospital

Your mind on rewriting your will

And if I don’t survive this then

I sure as heck won’t pay the bill.

Love. That won’t go away.

The cabin next door

Didn’t wake up today

Love. That we can all share

And finish our cruise in intensive care

The love boat, we’ll soon have the world on its knees

The love boat. Let’s incubate love and disease

Now please step away

‘Cause I think I am going to sneeze.

Love. What a wonderful cruise

When life becomes cheap

Just like the booze

Love. A ménage a trois?

Let’s cough on each other, down at the bar

The love boat. Don’t ever pay them in cash

The love boat. More than an embarrassing rash

And if we don’t find safe harbour

They’ll be throwing us out with the trash

***

So let me be Frank. It’s a name I’ve always liked. My grandfather’s name was Frank and we were good friends. He was only my ‘sort of’ grandfather. My ‘actual’ grandfather was a mysterious Austrian (Austrian, not Australian, I stress) violinist who I never met and of whom my mother never spoke. Frank was my grandmother’s third husband – so that tells you something about my grandmother. I hope it goes without saying that I was very close friends with her, too. I used to sleep at her house every Friday night and she would quietly put sweet biscuits under my pillow after I had dozed off, for me to eat when I awoke in the morning. My mother would not have approved.

I have no recollection or information about my second grandfather, either, but my mother chose to keep his name. I should have her asked why. Too late now.

So, as I say, let me be Frank, and state, quite frankly, that I am lazy. I planned to scan all the F ideas from people to seek inspiration but, in the end, I couldn’t be F’d.

So I fell into the arms, once again, of Ms Matthews. I promise, frankly, to leave her in peace until at least L, or thereabouts …

***

F is for Frankenstein

Saw it on tellie

Based on a book by some chick

Mary Shelley

Just one look I could see

He was crook.

He was smelly

He was cruel. He was kind

He was so Machiavelli

***

Further to my previous ‘E’ post. Judy chose ‘everlasting’ … and it’s such a beautiful concept that I could not let it get passed without comment. She’s a much better poet than me, by the way.

Not that anyone would likely boast about that ….

***

E – everlasting.

Never ending – our bond

From here to eternity

And from there far beyond

E is for ever

What we’ll never forget

E is for everything

We’ll not regret

E’s not for everyone

… just you and me

E is our letter

So much better

Than D.

***

I’m not taking part in the A to Z challenge. Doing anything 26 times in a row is too great a challenge for me.

But I thought I might use other people’s ideas for an occasional input of my own. This one comes from Ms Matthews, and I thank her for that.

***

E is for eggshells

I’m treading on those

As I creep ‘round the bedroom

And you gently repose

I’ll make you some breakfast

As so sweetly you dose

Then I’ll  blow wave your hair

And I’ll  powder your nose

I’ll  brew you a coffee

I’ll wash all your clothes

For the next day or two

You’ll have no need of those.

***