I went all out today. I hired a band and a recording studio and dragged out some old crap lyrics, then put them to music. The plan was to see if that made them sound any better.

But, ok, there were a few budgetary restraints, mainly concerning the band, the recording studio and a composer. I might have leaned on AI a bit.

BUT! It does sound a slightly better. Not much. But slightly. Don’t you think? I’m not sure that my AI singer interpreted it quite the way I wanted. And, for authenticity, I would have preferred an Australian accent. Although maybe it would sound even better if I translated into a language nobody understands.

So try to imagine the lady in the picture above doing it, if you can. Or send me lots of money and I’ll pay her to do it.

Here’s the lyrics, for those that might be, inexplicably, interested.

**

Verse 1
I overslept last Monday,
Missed that mornin’ train.
Couple days went driftin’ by—
Now I’ve done it all again.
They didn’t like it at the office,
Now I’m out on my arse for good.
Unemployed and lazy,
Feelin’ better than I should.

Chorus
It’s just another day in Shitsville,
Another week in hell.
You close your eyes, avoid the flies,
But you can’t ignore the smell.

Verse 2
My girlfriend took it badly—
Sadly, bills to pay.
Packed her bags at midnight,
She’s with another guy today.
Thought I’d miss her laughter,
And all the sex, I s’pose…
But I found ’em both unlimited
On television shows.

Chorus
It’s just another day in Shitsville,
Another week in hell.
You close your eyes, avoid the flies,
But you can’t ignore the smell.

Verse 3
The weather’s turned to awful,
Been rainin’ for a week.
Tomorrow looks no better—
Tomorrows ain’t unique.
When it’s nearly time for pillows,
I’m so tired I might be dead.
Don’t know if I can make it
To the safety of my bed.

Chorus
It’s just another day in Shitsville,
Another week in hell.
You close your eyes, avoid the flies,
But you can’t ignore the smell.

Verse 4
Yesterday I missed the train,
Same as the day before.
Always tired, no longer wired—
I don’t chase trains no more.
So here I sit in Shitsville,
Where the train is always late.
Tomorrow’s just another day,
Another dreary date.

Final Chorus
It’s just another day in Shitsville,
Another week in hell.
You close your eyes, ignore the flies,
But you can’t avoid the smell

**