
This is my second attempt in response to Sami’s 50 word challenge which I suddenly realised I mucked up the first time. Somehow I thought it was supposed to be about the points of a compass. It wasn’t. Sorry, Sammi. I should learn to read rules ….
Anyway ….
*
Looking to the heavens
For the holy trinity
No sign of my salvation
In that vicinity
Unsure of the status
Of my own divinity
As I’m staring down the blackness
Out towards infinity
Left the bible reading
Lost my virginity
God, it seems that you and I
Have no affinity
*
Here’s the original effort, which has nothing to do with Sami’s challenge, as it turns out, except that it has 50 words in total ….
*
North/south/east/west
Simple navigation test
But travel’s just a platitude
With longitude and latitude
Somewhere somewhere else but here
Everything seems just too near
Travel, travel, all you can
End up where you first began
And to your shock at last you’ve found
The Earth’s not flat, it’s round and round.
*
I like the second one best. 🙂
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both come from the heart and rhyme superbly pops, kudos!
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I liked both but I liked the second poem a little more because it made me feel a little (but not in a bad way) uncomfortable.
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My favorite is the second one, so glad you came back and wrote again!
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Thank you
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Hiiiiieeeeee Mr. Richmond 🙃
The first piece feels like a struggle with faith, like standing at the edge of the universe and realizing there’s no divine safety net waiting to catch you. That line “God, it seems that you and I have no affinity” hits hard. It’s like acknowledging a break-up you didn’t even realize was happening.
And then the second piece shifts into something almost playful, but still existential in its own way. The idea of traveling only to end up right back where you started, there’s something poetic (and maybe a little ironic) about that. It’s like chasing meaning, thinking the answer is somewhere else, only to find out that everything just keeps spinning in circles.
Both pieces make me think about how we search, whether for meaning, faith, or even just a change of scenery only to find that some questions don’t have clear answers, and some journeys don’t take us as far as we thought.
I must start participating in these challenges ❤️
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