I was browsing through here yesterday and noticed Promote Yourself Monday. It’s a fairly regular event, coming around, unsurprisingly, about once a week.

It’s not really a concept that I’m comfortable with. The whole idea of self-promotion tends to be frowned upon here in Australia. It’s something that ‘you just don’t do’. I know that seems bizarre to other cultures, Americans in particular, who might argue, ‘if you can’t speak highly of yourself, then why would you expect anyone else to?’

And they may have a point. But down here ‘the tall poppy syndrome’ and ‘the cultural cringe’ rule, and so self-depreciation is valued more highly than self-promotion.

Nevertheless, I was taken by the idea of promoting myself …. to the rank of, say, General, or Rear-Admiral (do they have a Front-Admiral?)

And then the vision came to me of some old drunk staggering in and out of bars late at night dressed in a tatty old uniform, telling fabricated war stories and hoping that somebody might buy him a drink.

(such is a far more likely outcome for me than actually being ‘promoted’)

This is what I said.



Promote yourself! It’s Monday!

A super, number one way

Of advancement in this picky

Tricky, cliquey world of words

Alas, I am no poet

And most already know it

For my poems are just

Poorly polished turds

But I’ve suddenly a notion

To award myself promotion

And get myself a uniform

With stars

It will be such a hoot

To have you all salute

And buy me drinks each night

In seedy bars


11 thoughts on “Salute!

  1. lol sounds like your effort went down the gurgler pops, but unusual uniform there!

    bet you made them smile
    then run a mighty mile
    you ain’t got much style
    if you wait a little while
    I will try to compile
    your entire asio file!

    now that would be self promotion 🙂


      1. no no wont sign it, too much bail
        for bigimosts go straight to goal
        we need a foolproof plan that wont fail
        so off into the sunset we might sail!


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