Further Foolishness

On By Richmond Road

Some of you may have taken mild interest in my regular attempts to impress the judges of the NYC Midnight competitions and my consistent failure to do so.

I really had no intention of entering the 100 word story competition. I find it impossible to describe a cornflake in 100 words let alone create something that might pass as a story.

Anyway, my resolve eventually weakened about a day before the entry deadline – a decision that I regretted a day later when I was assigned Romance/Riding on a train/Simple.

Honestly forces me to reveal the sad result ……

***

I remember the world thundering by. Our destination almost upon us.

The rattle and rumble of the tracks like gunfire above which we hear only each other’s thoughts. She takes my hand in hers.

School bags at our feet. For these were simple times. Or seemed so.

A shock of air through the carriage as we hurtle into the black cocoon of the tunnel. She leans forward to kiss me.

Then suddenly into the blinding light of the station. She is on her feet. Smiling. Suppressing a giggle. And then gone. Until tomorrow.

For as long as tomorrows might last.

***

Looking back on it now I realise that there is obvious room for improvement – but I was in a hurry at the time. Also ….. I should point out, before the grammar nazis jump on me, that the potentially confusing changes in tense are deliberate. They make sense to me, though probably not to the judges.

Meg, Cyranny and Sam all joined me in this competition and I certainly wish them luck.

 

12 thoughts on “Further Foolishness”

    1. I am well. Increasingly senile, knees have just about had it, unemployed, a tad deaf …. but well overall.
      The results have not come in as yet, but, personally speaking, I can see no reason for confidence

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      1. about time you retired … you must be 90 at least! Must be boring not gadding about the world but I’m sure you’ll cope 🙂

        lol no one can read the minds of these wacky judges, no idea what measures they use …

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  8. Im clutching my chest as Im remembering wayyyyyyyy back when. This brought a sense of nostalgia ❤️

    This is a beautifully fleeting moment—so simple yet deeply emotional. It captures that strange, weightless feeling of youth, where everything is intense but unspoken, where the smallest gestures feel infinite. The train, the tunnel, the sudden burst of light, it all mirrors the rush of first love, that delicate in-between space where something profound is happening, but life moves too fast to hold onto it.
    And that last line? It hits hard. Because at that age, you believe in endless tomorrows.

    Having lived and loved, there’s this quiet awareness that nothing lasts forever.

    Annnnnd you always 2nd guess your writing ✍️ Effff the judges, assessors and spell checkers!

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