‘A letter to the Editor’ or ‘Please think twice before you take your pants off’

Chel, is always on the lookout for new contributions of which she requires a g-ish rating (with which I sometimes struggle) and a laugh (which I try to provide but never really know if it’s a laugh with me, or at me).

Today she wanted a rant – and I genuinely planned an amusing tale about my paranoid distrust of a world that has left me behind, but it took a turn of its own and ended up at an unexpected destination. So it’s not very good and it’s not very funny.

But here it is.

*

My letter to the editor

The poison of my pen

Comes from harboured grudges

That date to way back when

The world seemed sort of organised

But I was never planned

They never saw me coming

And they’ll never understand

My letter to the editor

The measure of my scorn

Reflects a life that went downhill

From the moment I was born

My mother’s strains, the labour pains

My first sight of the nurse

Into the world, my life unfurled

Then things got so much worse.

My letter to the editor

Please find my mum and dad

And tell them of the consequence

Of good times that they had

Remind them of their coupling

Their drunken naked dance

I didn’t have a say in it

I never had a chance

My letter to the editor

Please let the postman bring

My complaints of this and that

Complaints of everything

Bad tidings of my life alone

Of which I never had a say

Please forward this to mum and dad

Then make them go away

*

11 thoughts on “‘A letter to the Editor’ or ‘Please think twice before you take your pants off’

    1. I spoke recently to a lady from council who looks at all the correspondence that is generated by development submissions that are aired to the public. She told me that 70% of complaints come from retired males who have moved from a previous position of minor authority.
      That is my demographic.
      Mrs Richmond now restricts my access to any such correspondence.

      Like

      1. Haha well if Mrs Richmond is not the same person as the lady you spoke to from the council, then she shouldn’t have to stop you!
        I suspect your demographic still read hardcopies and hence submit letters to the editor. The rest of us go directly to the socials to complain!
        You’re slightly different though. You’ve got your blog to do it 😇

        Like

      2. Many of Henry Root’s letters were to far right despots of some sort. After praising them for their ‘common sense approach to public hanging’ or some such thing he would often tell them that, “Mrs Root is also a huge fan. Is there any chance of a signed photograph for her bedroom wall?” He gathered some interesting photos as a result.

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