Chel, is always on the lookout for new contributions of which she requires a g-ish rating (with which I sometimes struggle) and a laugh (which I try to provide but never really know if it’s a laugh with me, or at me).
Today she wanted a rant – and I genuinely planned an amusing tale about my paranoid distrust of a world that has left me behind, but it took a turn of its own and ended up at an unexpected destination. So it’s not very good and it’s not very funny.
But here it is.
*
My letter to the editor
The poison of my pen
Comes from harboured grudges
That date to way back when
The world seemed sort of organised
But I was never planned
They never saw me coming
And they’ll never understand
My letter to the editor
The measure of my scorn
Reflects a life that went downhill
From the moment I was born
My mother’s strains, the labour pains
My first sight of the nurse
Into the world, my life unfurled
Then things got so much worse.
My letter to the editor
Please find my mum and dad
And tell them of the consequence
Of good times that they had
Remind them of their coupling
Their drunken naked dance
I didn’t have a say in it
I never had a chance
My letter to the editor
Please let the postman bring
My complaints of this and that
Complaints of everything
Bad tidings of my life alone
Of which I never had a say
Please forward this to mum and dad
Then make them go away
*
Richmond Road 
Thanks for the smile today. Please write more often.
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I would never want to give birth! Um, OUCHIE! Not happening! 😀
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Toughen up Princess
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The ‘letter to the editor’ is a dying thing and difficult to teach kids what it is now. Nice poem 👌
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Actually, I always hated the ‘letters to the editor’ section. Just a bunch of bruised egos having a whine about their own lack of recognition. But I was a great fan of Henry Root https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Donaldson who famously wrote something along the lines of ‘Dear Sir, I wish to complain strenuously about everything’
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Well what an occupation title! Satirist huh? Donaldson must have been an interesting person
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Difficult to live with, perhaps.
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I spoke recently to a lady from council who looks at all the correspondence that is generated by development submissions that are aired to the public. She told me that 70% of complaints come from retired males who have moved from a previous position of minor authority.
That is my demographic.
Mrs Richmond now restricts my access to any such correspondence.
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Haha well if Mrs Richmond is not the same person as the lady you spoke to from the council, then she shouldn’t have to stop you!
I suspect your demographic still read hardcopies and hence submit letters to the editor. The rest of us go directly to the socials to complain!
You’re slightly different though. You’ve got your blog to do it 😇
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Many of Henry Root’s letters were to far right despots of some sort. After praising them for their ‘common sense approach to public hanging’ or some such thing he would often tell them that, “Mrs Root is also a huge fan. Is there any chance of a signed photograph for her bedroom wall?” He gathered some interesting photos as a result.
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That’s a genius. Early days interaction with the public before the days of sharing photos online
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