Even one dollar can help a child in need.

The Onion

LONDON—Noting that making a difference would cost less than a single cup of coffee, the Against Malaria Foundation released an advertising campaign Friday stressing that even one dollar could help a needy child, but you’d have to be a complete fucking dick to give that little. “For just one dollar out of your paycheck, you could help make sure no child has to experience this horrible disease, although what kind of a callous prick would you be to send us one measly buck?” said the commercial’s voiceover, explaining that any contribution was appreciated in this season of giving, but, that you would need to be a real heartless fuck of a Scrooge to look at how fortunate you are this Christmas and how little these children have and decide one-hundred pennies was the most you could possibly spare. “Every cent counts, of course. Then again—Seriously, a dollar? A single fucking dollar? You’re a despicable son of a bitch. What kind of goddamn monster would think that was sufficient?” The advertisement also stressed that for just $3,742 you could help these disadvantaged children and still look yourself in the mirror the next day.

4 thoughts on “Even one dollar can help a child in need.

  1. Nothing like the heart thumping look on a child’s face as she reaches out a dirty little hand, fingernails broken, maybe a tear on her face…and then you realize this is a picture, this is Christmas (or Thanksgiving and the turkey is cooking) and you, you schmuck, are being dragged through the mud of guilt again.

    Sigh. Always helps to remember that any small amount (even that dollar) aids no child, but it surely aids the guy who put the ad together. Hey, I’m old. I learned cynical the hard way.


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