Who am I?

I get asked this question quite a bit. My honest answer is that I am a pathological liar and I assume that any further questions are thus rendered meaningless.

Nevertheless Rory, at aguycalledbloke has asked them anyway, and so I will answer with my usual degree of disarming honesty ……

***

What is your favourite sweet treat?

Gee. That varies from day to day. I have broad tastes. Something soft but still chewy. Something I can really get my teeth into, in other words. And something that is not afraid to bite back, tenderly. In truth, it doesn’t really need to be all that sweet.

Oh, whoops. I misread the question. I thought you asked who is my favourite sweet treat.

If you want to really relax – what is your go to?

See above.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

OK. This is like they do in those personality tests, right? Where they ask the same question over and over again, but cleverly reworded, to check for inconsistency?

Well …. I want it put on record that I don’t feel guilty about it at all. Not every time, anyway.

***

Lovesick

Cyranny wrote some stuff about difficult love and dangerous relationships and it was really good …. but I have the attention span of a flea and suddenly, once again, I was off on a tangent and regressing back into my youth when, for just a few moments, I considered myself to be a rock and roll sex god, who wrote lyrics that were thankfully drowned out by loud music and unhealthy pharmaceuticals.

God, how I miss my own immaturity.

***

You’re infectious baby

I’ve got the disease

I’m burning up

Thirty eight degrees

Sweetheart keep your distance

Please don’t touch

I can take some rejection

But I can’t take much

(Chorus)

I’m lovesick, lovesick, I’m not feeling so great

Lovesick baby. It’s not something that I ate

But I have to bring it up. The condition won’t abate

Lovesick baby. Let’s regurgitate

I’ve got this burning love

It feels so pure

But it’s a hot infestation

And there ain’t no cure

I tried some meditation

With the doctor of love

And I promised dedication

To the Lord above

(Chorus)

I’m lovesick, lovesick, I’m not feeling so great

Lovesick baby. It’s not something that I ate

But I have to bring it up. The condition won’t abate

Lovesick baby. Let’s regurgitate

But the Lord said nothing

‘Cause he couldn’t understand

He was far too busy

And he wouldn’t lend a hand

So I took to medication

Ignored the hymns and the psalms

If this is going to kill me

Let me die in your arms.

***

Girls. Who cares where they come from?

Here’s another one. This time from Rory, who confesses a love for country girls. I find my own feelings to be slightly less specific.

***

She was a country girl, of course

A country girl upon a horse

Then laying by a mountain stream

A country girl within a dream

But then there was the city chick

Exciting nights. When hearts go quick

City lights. The city beat

Love found us on the city street

Girls from North, East, South and West

I don’t know which I like the best

I answer when I hear the call

Girls. I guess I like them all.

***