Following on from yesterday’s silliness, it seems that I did get my time in the confessional in the form of a response from someone who will remain anonymous (seriously – that’s who it was from) but it may well have been God him(or her)self, for all I know.

This is what the Lord said….

“confess your sins
no more, no less
do not neglect
the smallest speck
or wantonly avoid
the swarming void
of hell and purgatory
by leaving out the story
of how it all came to be
(just between the priest and thee)”

Naturally I was awestruck and stammered out the following nervous reply ….

“Father, where do I begin
To outline every wicked sin
To show myself before you thus
To throw myself beneath a bus
I beg you for another chance
Forget my night in Becky’s pants
Ignore my greed, my mortal lust
Ash to ashes, dust to dust
Come on God, give me a smile
Retribution’s not your style
Sit back and enjoy a giggle
Try to picture Becky’s wiggle
Father we will get on fine
I’ll keep your secrets, you keep mine”

****

I don’t know where we go from here

God seems so far, and yet so near

My next post might reveal, I fear

More than I should of Becky’s rear.

Somebody suggested recently that I should make my own posts and stop photobombing other people’s. The trouble is that I never have anything much to say. Other people are so much better than me at it, and the fact that I grab onto their shirttails is a form of flattery combined with habitual laziness.

Anyway, in another conversation with someone else the subject of God’s meal schedule came up and led to the following silliness. I think I waver a bit off track and never really get back on it …. but, you know … whatever. It’s a post.

*

My God, he answers questions

And I had myself a bunch

I went to the confessional

Just acting on a hunch

Whispered my confession

And waited for his punch

But there was nobody to listen

God was out to lunch

 

So I climbed up to the bell tower

To see if God was there

Though despite the view provided

I couldn’t see Him anywhere

I pulled the rope and rang the bell

To give the world a scare

But a flock of sleeping pigeons

Were the only ones to care

 

I saw a priest below me

Who God relied upon

To answer tricky questions

Or if not, just pass them on

But he was busy with an alter boy

Displaying Christian love

And I chose not to disturb them

Or to look down from above

 

A passing woman spoke to me

A kindly looking nun

‘Come to me my child,’ she said

‘And speak with me my son.’

‘I was looking for the priest’, I said

‘But the priest is having fun.

I have for him some questions.’

She said, ‘you’re not the only one.’

 

At last the devil came to me

And listened to my song

‘Let me take you to a place’, he said,

‘Where I think you might belong.

Where strength is just a weakness

And where the weak are strong

Where wrong is almost always right

And right is always wrong.’

 

I accepted his suggestion

It was too late to reform

Now I tiptoe through these endless flames

And I dance within this storm

I knew you would forsake me, Lord

‘Cause I was not made to conform

The fire here burns eternally

And I find it nice and warm.

 

 

 

 

*

This time for Sammi, who suggested 21 words about the ocean.

****

 

 

 

This rolling bed, an ocean

Where my dreams might gently float

There to sweetly drift

Through starry nights upon a boat