Feelings for Honey?

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An abridged and somewhat raunchier version of something I sent to Sara earlier. I feel a tad uncomfortable about posting it, to be honest. Especially with the picture.

 

 

Let’s get down on hands and knees
Will you describe your feelings please?
You feel for me, I feel for you
Let’s do what we were meant to do
Let’s kiss red lips and drink red wine
Honey, we are doing fine
Watch us dance and hear us sing
Honey, we won’t feel a thing

 

 

 

Welcome to the USA

I arrived on the western shores of California this morning for a very brief visit. Upon checking into the hotel I was handed the letter above, in a sealed, and personally addressed envelope. I was not travelling alone. But no one else was handed one. I am special.

And I am thrilled.

Not only am I being offered membership to this honourable sporting organisation (a five-year membership for only $100 – normally $140!!!!) but the opening line confirms that my citizenship (for which I had not yet got around to applying) has come through and I can now join FIVE MILLION NRA MEMBERS in the fight against ‘hundreds of gun-hating politicians, judges, radical billionaires and freedom-hating media elites. We have them outnumbered!

But wait …… there’s more! If I join today I get not only the gun bag (accessories, i.e. guns not included) but Your choice of an NRA magazine with ‘month after month of eye-popping photography, information-packed reviews of the HOTTEST new guns’. Wow! No more porn for me!

So it’s welcome to the USA for Brutus! Buddy, hand me the ammo!

Leaving

Lovelycurses #1minfiction

A notebook and a pencil. Toothbrush. A change of underwear. And an old photograph of her mother. All slung defiantly over her shoulder and she stepped out into the world projecting a fabricated aura of confidence. She was leaving this time.

The streets were beginning to fill and soon the market would be a surging river of humanity within which she could become absorbed and blissfully disorientated. She had money enough for bread, cheese and fruit.

And then the river would take its course.