I was browsing through here yesterday and noticed Promote Yourself Monday. It’s a fairly regular event, coming around, unsurprisingly, about once a week.
It’s not really a concept that I’m comfortable with. The whole idea of self-promotion tends to be frowned upon here in Australia. It’s something that ‘you just don’t do’. I know that seems bizarre to other cultures, Americans in particular, who might argue, ‘if you can’t speak highly of yourself, then why would you expect anyone else to?’
And they may have a point. But down here ‘the tall poppy syndrome’ and ‘the cultural cringe’ rule, and so self-depreciation is valued more highly than self-promotion.
Nevertheless, I was taken by the idea of promoting myself …. to the rank of, say, General, or Rear-Admiral (do they have a Front-Admiral?)
And then the vision came to me of some old drunk staggering in and out of bars late at night dressed in a tatty old uniform, telling fabricated war stories and hoping that somebody might buy him a drink.
(such is a far more likely outcome for me than actually being ‘promoted’)
This is what I said.
****
Promote yourself! It’s Monday!
A super, number one way
Of advancement in this picky
Tricky, cliquey world of words
Alas, I am no poet
And most already know it
For my poems are just
Poorly polished turds
But I’ve suddenly a notion
To award myself promotion
And get myself a uniform
With stars
It will be such a hoot
To have you all salute
And buy me drinks each night
In seedy bars
****
Richmond Road 
Drink is on me! 🍺
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It’s a date!
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I’ll pass. I prefer getting drinks rather than buying them. OK, fine, maybe one, then.
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Salute you I do Aussie
Do not self-deprecate
Don’t give a toss what others think
Have a Fosters mate…..
Glug….glug….glug….
Not all at once……
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A Fosters? God, no
Not that sort!
That’s not the way
That we are taught
Though, in a storm
It’s any port
But not the rubbish
We export!
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I’ve heard that we
Export the best
Leaving us the rubbish
Behind (the rest)
Then again I could have heard wrong…….
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lol sounds like your effort went down the gurgler pops, but unusual uniform there!
bet you made them smile
then run a mighty mile
you ain’t got much style
if you wait a little while
I will try to compile
your entire asio file!
now that would be self promotion 🙂
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Sit with me a while and you might find that the smile on my dial has a style a mile wide. You, I might beguile and have you sign the file that I compile before I walk you down the aisle.
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no no wont sign it, too much bail
for bigimosts go straight to goal
we need a foolproof plan that wont fail
so off into the sunset we might sail!
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Bigamy is not so bad
Some things are so much worse
Marrying your daughter
More worthy of a curse
Our sail into the sunset
Alas, will have to wait
Until another lifetime
But consider it a date
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wont hold my breath
coz I’m out of my depth
waiting in anticipation for my death!
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