I will never achieve solidarity when it comes to questions regarding ‘the worst television ever’ – and there is certainly some dreadful stuff out there. But I’d like to put a vote in for ‘The Love Boat’. Most of you are too young to have seen it, perhaps, or too proud to admit it, but I did spend a few rainy Sunday afternoons on the couch with my sister – and the experience has scarred me for life.
Chelsea’s Terrible Poetry prompt this week relates to the Covid 19 situation, and whilst I do not wish to make light of the subject I could not help but be reminded of this truly nauseating TV show.
Love. Exciting and new
Come aboard. We’re infecting you.
Love. Let’s all get in close.
It’s an onboard romance. Can I give you a dose?
The love boat, with passengers old and vague
The love boat. Soon we’ll be spreading another plague
Set a course for the hospital
Your mind on rewriting your will
And if I don’t survive this then
I sure as heck won’t pay the bill.
Love. That won’t go away.
The cabin next door
Didn’t wake up today
Love. That we can all share
And finish our cruise in intensive care
The love boat, we’ll soon have the world on its knees
The love boat. Let’s incubate love and disease
Now please step away
‘Cause I think I am going to sneeze.
Love. What a wonderful cruise
When life becomes cheap
Just like the booze
Love. A ménage a trois?
Let’s cough on each other, down at the bar
The love boat. Don’t ever pay them in cash
The love boat. More than an embarrassing rash
And if we don’t find safe harbour
They’ll be throwing us out with the trash